balance.

I guess I haven't listened to electronic music since high school, amongst my vaccination with what I perceive as a wide amount of genres, though really its pretty closed off.

I played a house show a couple months ago that I was having a pretty off night at, my guitar busted a string and i played an out of tune guitar that jangled, I felt awkward and disinterested, sometimes I imagine this though, but im not even writing to talk about me. I made friends with Sean, who is in a band called Forest World, the music makes me really happy. Thats all really, Listen to this and see if im wrong... The lyrics are good, its not just 'dance' music. It's wonderful.

FOREST WORLD

These are some albums i really love. They arnt flawless, but albums that have really hit the spot for me over the last year or so and influence writing. All of these bands make me want to make a band similar to them. Though i feel like starting a second band. Whos in? All 5 Albums im posting are worth buying with real money, or at least those Sacajawea coins.

American Football-American Football

J. Tillman - Cancer and Delirium

Bonnie Price Billy & Matt Sweeny- Superwolf

Townes Van Zandt - Rear View Mirror (live record)

Julie Doiron - I can wonder what you did with your day

What we gather is just an over pouring of emotion. From years of neglect to something we didnt even know existed. Now that we do, we're done for.

Sometimes I just feel upset to know that evil exists, that bad and pain is inevitable, and that the illogical is still illogical. We can't make sense of things not sensible.

Like the bizzare feeling of crying over a friend who died years ago, that hardly passes through your mind as much as they should. Grieving over things that our grieving period is up on.

I remember being young and hearing about people who got bed sores, and how i thought that was the saddest thing I have ever heard. Maybe the world we live in has made us more bothered by not having solutions or not understanding every little thing.

happy happy happy happy happy.

happiness is a choice not a place or state of mind.
i hope people get what i mean by that without thinking im depressing as hell.

Sometimes, 'fulfillment' and 'happiness' have much more to do with our internal place than external place.

While driving to Park City yesterday for a show, I was driving off I-80. Now for me, this road bears bizarre but significant symbolism in my own life. This road connects the midwest, where my dear friends and parents are, to Utah, and where I am right now. When I lived in Idaho I would take I-80 to get back and forth from Illinois the few times I made this long drive. It's like a gateway that connects the two spots my life has been based. These longs drives have always been filled with nostalgia and feeling. I turned my signal, though I immediately realized I was heading east on I-80. I did not want to get off. After nearly 8 months of longing to be here, I suddenly want to be there. We often think happiness is a milestone that will be achived after something comes about, but its obvious to me, that its much more than that. Sometimes, its much more than that
.

so i made my 'clean getaway' i suppose.

life is going ok here, its all new, its all different, its not better, its not worse, just different. though some of the things you try to leave just follow you, or sneak in my luggage, not sure how, but i still have the same slate to deal with, but with the blessing of a new perspective and new priority. once that candle burns down, your left with the same feeling that your in the same spot you were, even if progress was made, we dont want it, we want everything to go to its "right place" and us be a 100% new person. It doesn't seem to go that way though.